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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

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More from ~GothicRockerGirl

Prisoner of LoveMy hands are tied,
to a rope you can't see,
and it's pulling me towards
you.
I can't let go,
I'm tied to you.
Wherever you go,
I tag along,
You show me the way.

My feet are locked,
to a chain you can't see,
and it's pulling me towards
you.
I can't let go,
I'm chained to you.
Wherever you go,
I drag along,
You show me the way.

I am a prisoner,
a slave,
a toy.
I am your prisoner,
for you captured my heart.
I am your slave,
for you torture my spirit.
I am your toy,
for you took over my mind.
Prisoner of Love.
Forever and Always.

Temptation of the HeartWhen you leave something
behind,
you want to look back.
The temptation is strong,
but your heart is stronger.

When you quit an old habit,
you want to start again.
The temptation is strong,
but your heart is stronger
still.

When you let someone go,
you want to run back,
kiss them,
hug them,
breathe in their scent,
one last time.
The temptation is strong,
but your heart is the strongest,
which is the reason you do
run back,
to kiss them,
to hug them one last time.
To make it count.
But hearts are meant for love,
so it obeys.
And you do it,
to make it count
one last time.

The temptation of
the heart is the hardest

Agony of LoveIm melting for you,
tears streaming down still.
I fall, I fell.
I hurt, I cry.
Pieces fall apart,
I stitch.
Pain in my eyes,
my heart.
Boiling anger,
dent in my heart.
I ache for you,
heal my suffering.
See my agony,
feel my pain,
hear my scream,
taste the hate on my lips.
One cut from you,
take my hand.
Dont leave me,
ill die.
Bloody rivers,
wounds,
indents in my skin,
No more.
Im tired of the heartache,
sick of the heartbreak.
Pick me up,
heal my heart.
If you kill me,
indent on my grave;
"I LOVED YOU"

You Betrayed MeMy heart burns with
betrayal.
My eyes are filled with
disgust.
My tears arent filled with
sadness
no
they are filled with
hatred.

Your voice means
pity.
Your eyes show
deceit.

You pity my every move.
You betrayed me.

I trusted you.
I told you everything.
You spread it like a disease.

My heart is filled with hatred.
My soul screams in agony.
I scream,
"YOU BETRAYED ME!"

Lonely and AloneLonely and Alone.
Lonely are the letters
my tears of regret,
spill out on the floor.

Lonely and Alone.
Alone are the words
I cry out,
in that small dark corner.

Lonely and Alone.
The feelings of true
isolation of mind, body,
and soul.

Lonely and Alone.
Lonely is the gag
that chokes back my
words of woe.

Lonely and Alone.
Alone is the blanket
that suffocates my
breath of love.

My tears of regret, spell it out on the floor.
My cries out from that small dark corner.
My feelings of mind, body, and soul.
My words of woe, My breath of love.

Lonely and Alone.
I am.
If I werent,
They'd belong,
to you,
My Love.

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Realization

by ~GothicRockerGirl, Apr 21, 2012, 7:49:14 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I was watching
videos of my childhood
today.
It made me realize
how excited my parents were to
have me.
To raise me,
see the smile on
their faces.
They Love Me.
I imagine how they
felt when I told them,
"I just want someone to love me"
I feel terrible,
after the way I judged
them,
Insulted their parenting,
and hurt them in ways beyond
belief.
I thought at the time
they were hurting me,
but I was hurting them.
The way I suddenly
changed with no
warning into this
"Freak"
No parent would ever
want that.
They would want their child
to be normal and loved.
I wouldnt want my child like this.
Nobody would.
I realize its my fault
where I am today.
It's all my fault.
I am so sorry.
and I want you to know..
I love you.

Realizationby ~GothicRockerGirl

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~GothicRockerGirl

4/20/12
Dedicated to my mom and dad.
The poem explains everything

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Sadness

~BardoftheDamned Apr 23, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

This definitely made me tear up. I sympathize greatly.
Great poem!

Reply

~GothicRockerGirl Apr 23, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so much! and i think everyone will realize this theirselves sometime in life

Reply

~Carabajal32 Apr 23, 2012 Student Artist

I just cried.

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